you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
