were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
