Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
