How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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