You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
