i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
