Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize