I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize