operation harelip BJ is a go
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
