i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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