What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
