...so i touched it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
