if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
