I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
