No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
