i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
