careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize