I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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