May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you never un-have a 4some
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
