Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
