I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
