And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
