chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
