Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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