So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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