She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
