Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
