I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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