Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
