yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
