in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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