Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
