we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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