ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
