im gay
i know
yea but for you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
