I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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