i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
