I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
