I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
