ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
