WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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