Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
