So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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