I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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