Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
