Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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