I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
