I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
