yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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