I accidentally had phone sex last night
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
