im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
