5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
smell my finger.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
