The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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