Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
