Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
