Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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