worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize