i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize