You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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