NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
