Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
