Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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