So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
