they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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