sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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